How would YOU kill the Duggars?

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How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Glurkster on Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:01 am

With me, it would have to be a sniper rifle. That way if one or two of them managed to escape, they would have never seen my face. First, I'd splatter the youngest one's head all over the rest of them. Then I'd melonize the next oldest one, then the next, until all the kids' heads were jelly donuts. Then I'd blast the mother's womb all over the wall (it's probably ready to fall out anyway) so she could see it slide down slowly, leaving a trail of blood and worthlessness. Of course it goes without saying that the dad would then get to see his testicles "out of the bag" as it were, right before I turned his useless head into a canoe. Why would I start with the youngest first? Why, to give the parents as much misery and suffering as possible before killing them too. They'd have to see every one of their brats' faces explode one by one. Ok, now my dick's really hard.

If I could get away with killing every single member of this family and never get caught, I'd be on the bus today and I am not kidding at ALL. Seriously. I want them dead and in the ground. Or ground into dog food, whatever, just dead.

p.s. DEAD


Last edited by Glurkster on Sun Mar 13, 2011 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Okay, this is my new favorite thread...

Post  Bomb Hole on Thu Jul 01, 2010 6:05 pm

I'd duct tape a pound of plastique under their kitchen table with a remote detonator. I'd set it off just as they finished their before-dinner prayer. "In jesus' name we pray...", BOOOOOM, ground beef.
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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Glurkster on Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:47 pm

Bomb Hole wrote:I'd duct tape a pound of plastique under their kitchen table with a remote detonator. I'd set it off just as they finished their before-dinner prayer. "In jesus' name we pray...", BOOOOOM, ground beef.

Laughing
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Well...

Post  SexyBitch on Wed Jul 07, 2010 3:53 am

I figure if you remove her uterus (bloated bag of sperm), and his nuts, or what's left of them after 20 damn kids, they'd die of devastation cause they can't spew forth anymore bratleighs from their own loins! cheers
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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Bomb Hole on Sun Sep 26, 2010 11:04 am

What are they up to now? 19 or 20? Why won't that god damn mother just die already? How can her husband keep fucking her? That must be like banging a bowl of chili by now.
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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Hateskids on Mon Sep 27, 2010 4:25 pm

I'd rescue the kids, especially the girls, and introduce them to the modern world and encourage them to wear makeup, dress like normal teenaged girls and inform them to use birth control. I figure it would make Ma and Pa Duggars' heads explode.

Although, it must be said, the Duggar brood are very well behaved. They're not the 'howler monkeys on crack' that seem to be the norm these days.

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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Bomb Hole on Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:08 pm

I don't give a fuck how well behaved they are. They're using up more resources and creating more waste than one family has the right to, and on top of that the kids are being taught that that's what they should do when they grow up as well. This family is a fucking plague that needs to be eradicated.

I'd slit the mother's throat and shove the father's face into the wound until he drowned in her blood. Then I'd snap the kids' backs and watch them crab around on the floor until I stomped their rotten little brains in. Cool
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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  SexyBitch on Sun Oct 03, 2010 6:12 am

I think that Moo rode the short bus as a kid...what sane woman would settle for that "life"??? Definitely acts like a window licker in my opinion! Surprised
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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  pete on Sat Nov 27, 2010 7:18 pm

I'd force the parents to watch all those vermin being tortured to death.

Then I'd pick them apart, using a propane torch and a pair of needle-nose vise grips. Another option is dousing them in a 50-50 mixture of tar and gasoline and setting them on fire. I'm ok with that, too...Pete

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Re: How would YOU kill the Duggars?

Post  Glurkster on Sun Mar 13, 2011 9:02 pm

I'd take them each up onto the roof one by one. Then I'd make a tiny incision in their belly, pull out a loop of intestine, tie it around the chimney and throw them off the fucking roof. That house would be festive-looking as hell when I got done with this shithole of a family.
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